Yes, hookups are a fun way of having some unattached fun with someone you “like” or find attractive at the moment. They can lead to something more, or often times not much at all. Even though it’s an activity most single men tirelessly work towards, what does it really mean to have a hookup with someone?
There are many online dictionaries which define the word hookup, all of which have different definitions. The most frequently read one is that a hookup is, “an informal gathering of people that can include anything from simply hanging out together, kissing and intercourse.” Most often, a hookup is related to having sex with someone (even if it’s on webcam), which is not that bad a thing as you know. Especially if you’re a single guy like myself!
How People (Men) Today Look For Hookup Partners
As I said above, most times, a hookup is understood in the same manner as having sex with someone, and it is usually what most guys expect after one or two dates. If it’s me, then I want sex on the first date. Given that I want to bang on date 1, that’s exactly why I only use sex apps to make my dating plans these days. I’m not judging or trying to offend a whole gender, but let’s face it, boys, you would do almost anything to woo a willing lady into your bed.
With the advance of technology and all of us having access to the whole world in the palms of our hands, yes, via the smartphone on which you are most likely reading this article, it has become very, very easy to find someone to hook up with. The various dating and “swiping” apps enable this – meeting a person interested in the same things as you, striking up a conversation and arranging a meet.
Online dating apps also take the accompanying unpleasantries out of the equation, as you can chat with the guy/girl you like in the comfort of your own home without the initial fear of being publicly exposed or rejected. If you do get rejected, you just move on to the next contact on your list.
The Average Guy Approach To Hookups
Society has taught us that the guy needs to make the first step when interacting with a girl. And it is usually that the whole tone of the conversation depends on the opening line the guy decides to go with. Some advice for all guys out there trying to woo a gal, no matter if it’s via a dating app or in a coffee shop/bar/the market, always be yourself and say and do whatever you are comfortable with.
If you go about it via one of the dating apps, and you are a novice/newbie not familiar with using one, don’t be afraid to admit it. Just start with a simple introduction, casually dropping a line that you are new to the whole ordeal on online dating and using the hookup app, and see what she replies.
Make sure you present yourself with an adequate description, outlining your expectations, desires, and tastes and ask for hers. It is way more likely that she shares the same or similar tastes to yours and is not very keen on instant experimentation with someone she hasn’t yet met in person.
For the guys with more experience in dating online, there are some rules that you should respect and try to impose every time you are looking to hook up with someone new. Have some notes prepared that you can just reference when setting up an arrangement with a girl via the app of your choice. You can and should outline what you are willing to do and what you would not be into.
After the initial meet and greet, you can continue with a sentence similar to this one:
“Hey, if you are interested in spending some fun time with me, I’d like to say that I’m really into trying something of the likes of (whatever you are willing to do). I’m not keen on doing stuff like (things that you won’t do). We can meet (then and there) if it is all right with you. I’m looking for a (one night stand, casual hookup friend…). Is there something that you would like to try? We can talk more if we are on the same page…”
This gives the female enough information to decide if she is willing to meet with you. By outlining your basic wants you are giving her the chance to go answer you with her own needs in mind. With this approach, both know where you stand and will not waste your time with unproductive chit-chat.
Meeting A Girl Can Be Hard At Times (Thank The Creeps)
Even though most people out there are decent and cool when it comes to meeting a girl, there has surely been some creep that has absolutely tainted every woman’s experience. That is why the guys need to cut the girls some slack and be more patient. If the girl is more comfortable meeting the guy in a coffee shop or a bar, go with the flow.
There are some very awesome guys that will do a lot to make sure the girl has a wonderful time. It is more likely that the girl will meet a nice guy, and even with more experienced people, there is always some, albeit small, risk involved. Always be respectful of her wishes (as your mama taught you) and you will get far more than by being rude.
Last Bit Of Advice
When working towards a hookup with a girl you met on dating or a hookup app and actually like, go to the meeting with an optimistic step, but don’t enter into anything blindly. Arrange a meeting in a place you both find adequate, like a bar or a coffee shop that has other people present and is conveniently placed near yours/hers place. If you can do it in a hotel lobby, then awesome, stick with that location! This way you both have the sense of support from the crowd, and if the sparks start to fly, you can easily find a bed and get down to the real fun you both crave.